Countdown 26 Days: The Extremities

Today's was supposed to be a 75-mile Kickapoo loop ride. I woke up at 4.30 am with my stomach still full of food from last night's dinner at Dr. Rapik's house. When I woke up, honestly I didn't want to leave my bed at all. It was raining outside, while I'm hiding under my nice and warm comforter. It took me like 10 minutes to finally leave my bed. Well I had milo oatmeal for breakfast, then started to check my lights, tyres, and refill my water bottles. After that I heated up the rice from err few days ago for lunch. I got eveything done by 6pm so I went to wash clothes for a bit before I left at 6.20 am lol. There was Illinois Marathon too this morning, so we had to leave before the roads were blocked. We gathered at Ceramics building, had briefing, and left at 7am. 

It was cold this morning (about 7 degree C). I put on three layers of clothes and felt okay actually. But 30 minutes into our ride, the drizzles became heavy downpour. My sunglasses started to fog up. The reason I wore sunglasses wasn't because that the sun was too bright-in fact I used it to block the rain drops from entering my eyes. The rain still got in from the side somehow and it's really hard to see clearly. Then there was this part of the journey that the rain got so heavy that it hurts so much when the rain hits my face. Also I was literally drinking the rain water. I had the mucus all over my face, my saliva dripping with the rain water. I just had everything on my face but I didn't even care anymore. 

That was still not the worst. As I biked, the rain started to collect in my eyes. I was wearing contacts and I felt like I couldn't see clearly at all. I was blinking at the rate of 10 blinks per second to clear up my eyes. Gosh. I got so cold that I was shivering so hard while biking. I couldn't feel my fingers and feet at all. When I took my hands off my handlebar, I couldn't straighten my fingers and it hurts so much when I tried to straighten them up. I couldn't hold my bottles, couldn't unlock my phone, couldn't zip/unzip my saddle bag. I just...couldn't feel my fingers at all. I felt so unsafe when I couldn't even press on my brakes and change gears. I need extra 2 minutes to come to a complete stop. And when I got off my bike and tried to walk, I could only hear my cleats dragging on the floor, and I couldn't feel my feet at all. 

We finally came to our designated rest stop at Kickapoo State Park by 10 am. And that was the end of the ride for today. We did only 30 miles today, and wasn't able to complete another 45 miles. First, there was an expected lightning on our way home, and it's super unsafe to bike when there's lightning; Second, we were all freezing, and it's unsafe to bike when we couldn't even press on the brakes. So the directors went back home with the van to pick up their vehicles. It was a 35-minute drive from Kickapoo State Park from/to Champaign-Urbana. I was in the last group to get home. I got home about 1.45pm. My clothes were all soaked and I had been shivering for 3 hours. I hope I don't fall sick though... I don't have time for it... :3 

Thinking back the ride that we had last week, it was hot and sunny. I'm not too sure what was the temperature, but I would say it was about 27 degree C. I got terrible sunburn and super obvious tan line on my arms and legs. I don't complain, because I like hot weather so much. I'm tired of having so much snow and rain since last Fall. I really have no idea how Illinois weather works because one day it's summer, and another day it's winter. 

Last week was the hottest training ride, and today's was the coldest training ride ever. I tell myself, I survived today, there's really nothing much that I can't pull through. I'm not boasting though. Try walking out in 3 layers of wet clothes, under a 7 degree C weather, with wind speed 20 kmph for 5 minutes, then amplify the whole thing to extra workout on legs (pedalling), stronger wind (biking against the wind), and staying for 3 hours in that condition. 

I'm not that kind of person who would give up easily, but at some point I was really exhausted, and felt like taking a break. The only thing I've got in my head was we're 20 miles closer, 10 miles closer, less than one mile closer to our rest stop. At least when I biked, I know the more effort I put in, the quicker I get to rest. Then it got me into thinking about one thing, what is the motivation that cancer patients could have? Rest stops? No. They don't even know if they fight very hard, will they be able to recover. There is no rest stop at all for the battles. I'm always impressed by the people who fight very hard to survive. The stories of them warriors always break my heart. I really give them the highest respect for being able to be so optimistic and strong despite what they have been through. If they are not the strongest persons, I really don't know who are. 

Many of you that I have talked to about what I am about to do in three week-biking from NYC to San Fran have been so supportive towards me. I'm totally grateful for your support. And I like you guys' "WOW!" hahaha. The first impressions  that I got from you guys are amazing! :') People think that this mission is crazy, but I know what I'm doing, I'm just a little adventurous. Most importantly, I want to fight for something, or maybe I should say I want to prove that nothing is impossible as long as you really fight for what you want to do. I want to devote my time, energy, and money to help those who are in need. Not so much of money since I am struggling to support my basic living too right now. I just want to help as much as I could. Anything that I could help, I will definitely help. 

I've been helpless, if possible, I don't want anyone to feel helpless. I've gotten  a lot of help too, so I want to pass on the good deeds to others. I'm thankful for all of the people and things I have in my life. :)

Countdown 45 Days: First weekend training with "Snow White"

It's April. The month that the cold starts to fade off, and the flower starts to blossom. And it's also the one month before my 4500-mile journey starts.

Last Wednesday (April Fool day) was the first time I hopped on "Snow White" and went for a ride with the team. If I'm not mistaken, we did a good 6-7 miles that day. It was sunny, and the wind was blowing at just the right strength. I did not know how to clip in and clip out at all when I first started biking with "Snow White". I biked from home to Armory (the place we gather for training) with full of nervousness. The thing I felt most insecure of was that my feet could barely touch the ground, so as soon as I lose my balance by 0.01% I will fall on a road full of cars. As I pedaled, when I saw the stop signs and red light three blocks away, I slowed down to ~2mph (no kidding!), as soon as I approached them, and thought that it was safe enough to pass, I accelerated and rode at ~12mph. Yes that was exactly how scared I was.

Last Saturday (4/4) was the day the team went on a long 30-mile ride. We detoured a little and ended up with a total of ~35 miles (56 km), started at 7am, and ended at 11.30am. We gathered at 6.45am at Armory, and made a loop to Homer Lake. I totally sucked at reading cues (directions) because... I'm just that kind of person who will lose my way even if gmaps is on, navigation is on. I'm just... really bad at directions. I mean, even I've been on campus for 1.5 years, I will still take the wrong bus, and end up in somewhere that has no one. I personally enjoy doing callouts (provided that I'm not the one to lead, cause I'll panic) and paying attention to potential dangers such as cars, gravels, sticks, etc. I'm super comfortable doing that. The best thing about the ride was that I finally got to experience real biking on long miles; whereas the worst thing about the ride was the wind. Wind sucks. The wind made it so hard to propel forwards, to hear callouts clearly, and to breathe cause I kept breathing in air and the mucus kept coming out from my nose. Plus, it was really cold that morning (~ -3 C). I was literally shivering while biking, and my fingers and toes got numb, ears got pain, etc. After the ride that night, my hip hurt so much that I couldn't lift my left leg at all. All of a sudden, all of the bad thoughts came to my mind--I thought I somehow broke my ligament, and I will not be able to bike forever. O.O

The day after, Sunday, I went to bike again early in the morning at 8am with Julio. As usual, we biked against the wind @@ We did approximately 12 miles that morning before he rushed back to RAL for subgroup meeting. After his meeting ended at 1pm, he picked me up and brought me for lunch at Courier Cafe. That was the best meal I have had in a while. Thanks, Julio! He is this one person that I am always grateful to have. From helping to solve Chemistry problems, relentlessly teaching me old and new things, to supporting me for me doing this incredible bike ride, alongside a lot of other things like picking up my bike for me, bringing me out for good food, cheering me up when I was down, there is just too much to list here. Sometimes, I'm really amazed by how two people from the opposite ends of the world will meet and can actually "click". With Shampa joining the lab few months back, R348 is officially my favorite place on campus. They are the two people who are always there when I needed help. 

On a side note, I spent my spring break (3/21-3/28) volunteering at Give Kids The World, Kissimmee, Florida. This is definitely the best volunteering experience I have had by far. GKTW is a resort that works with wish-granting organizations. It allows kids with life-threatening illnesses and their family to live there for a week at no cost. It's basically a theme park with Carousel, Lori's magical flight (flying Dumbo), Castle, Amberville (arcade center), Ginger bread house (food service), water park, Ice cream palace, etc. The volunteers get to learn how to operate the theme park, serve food, and join the daily special events. My group was lucky enough to be involved in Halloween night and Winter Wonderland Parade, in which we did face painting, hair spray, giving out candies on Halloween, and dressed up as fairies, soldiers elf for Winter Wonderland Parade. My favorite place in GKTW is the castle. There is a pillow maker, star tower, and a play land in the castle. Each wish kid has the opportunity to put his/her name on a golden star, and the star will be put all over the ceiling or in the star tower. There are over 100,000 stars on the ceiling and in the star towers, because once it's put up, the stars will never be taken off. I was kinda sad to see the kids whose height was only as high as my waist having to go through surgeries and treatments at such young ages. It really made me ponder a lot about my life. Did I appreciate every opportunity I have in my life? Did I help to make the community/society a better place? 

I remember Jerry who worked in Champaign Cycle once told me, "Every time when the ride gets hard, think about the people you know who have been through a lot more hard times, that will help you to pull through the rough days you'll have on your ride." That's absolutely true. No matter how hard it is, I know I'm gonna pull through it, because I know nothing could be worse than living with illness everyday. Probably the reason why I am so passionate about I4K is that I hope I4K could at least be the source of strength for everyone who needs it, not just for cancer patients. When you think that everything in your life is going downhill, read the portraits, and you'll know that as long as you're alive, there are still chances to make something up. You'll learn to see bad things in a good way, a process to learn and grow. 

Coming up next: 45-mile ride on Sat and Portraits reception on Sunday! Woohooo!

P/S: Snow white is my new bike's name! :) 

Countdown 72 Days: Good thing, Bad thing, Everything happens for a reason

WARNING: THE BEGINNING PART OF THIS POST CAN BE IRRITATING. BUT I KNOW YOU WANT TO READ IT, SO GO AHEAD AND READ IT ANYWAYS. 

I went to bed at 7pm just now, and woke up at 12am, and realized that my phone has like a million unread messages. 

Here's the thing about my life recently:

I have quite a number of group projects, but everyone does not seem to be doing his/her work. This really pissed me off. Regarding the unread messages I mentioned earlier, it was because we have a group assignment due tomorrow at 12pm, and they are only doing it now, claiming that they were busy. Like seriously... I slept for only two hours last night (3-5 on average), had back-to-back midterms from 9.30am to 11am, then 11an to 12.30pm, then I had a lab from 1-5pm. 

There is another midterm coming up tomorrow, because apparently some people don't understand the rules to be a student. I mean, if you want to cheat in an exam, you don't have to actually make a google doc and share it in our class group where everyone (including the TAs and Professor have access to it, YA KNOW. It's like telling the professor that, "Hey look, I'm cheating in exam, and now I am inviting everyone to cheat with me!" I spent a whole night working on that midterm, cause apparently her questions are ...*I don't know what to say about it anymore*

Also, something happened in lab today, which I'm really upset about. I threw my product away...That's the dumbest, biggest, yet most common mistake one could ever do. 

I have been trying to be a more optimistic person, and always think that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. You know, sometimes it can get kinda stressful when you have 5 midterms in two weeks, lab reports, group assignments (which seem more to like individual assignment cause one person does everything for the group), logistics for Spring break volunteering trip, whole bunch of meetings, training, and things keep going left (cause..nothing goes right). 

Okay, I think I've had enough of ranting. I'll stop here. 

On a lighter (and happier) note, I'm getting my bike next week! Hopefully I'll have the chance to ride it at least once before I leave for Spring break! Hopefully too, no soreness. :3

I actually selfishly thought that I would want to have Spring break all for myself, sleep, study, and whatnot, then I realize that if I don't volunteer while I could, I will gonna be so regretful about this missed opportunity next time. 

I came here during my Sophomore year, and spent one whole academic year trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. And when I finally (70%) figured out what I want to do, there are only 400+ days left until graduation. I really regretted for not pushing myself hard enough when I first got here. I admit that I'm feeling tired all the time, but I feel contented despite the busy schedule. It somehow makes me focus on the things I need to do, instead of spending hours scrolling facebook, instagram, and twitter. 

It's because I'm busy, I appreciate the rest time I have; It's because I'm busy, I'm happy. 

I believe in 5 or 10 years, when I look back, I'll be proud of myself on what I have done/achieved in these years. It will all be worthwhile. :)

Here, I would like to thank everyone who has been super supportive towards me. It's you guys that make my hard times easier, and good time better! I'm really thankful for meeting and having each and every of you in my life. :')

If you're going through a lot of troubles, I hope you will get over it soon! Nothing lasts forever--bad things last short, good things last long. Stay focused, and things will get better with time! 

P/S: Sorry for the ranting part! I just need to get those out of mind, so I could fill myself up with happier, better, more positive things! 

#BePositive  #GoodLuckEveryone 

Countdown 95 Days: Busy, busy, busy.

Hi! I know I have not been blogging since ... err.... 2 months ago? Such irresponsible person I am, so please don't be like me!

For Winter break, I went to Florida and visited Disney World! This is the 3rd Disneyland I've been to, and I was still really excited about the rides and performances! I also went to Universal Studios! I spent more than 12 hours in each theme park-taking water rides at 12.30am, and almost got sick for the rest of the trip :3 All in all, it was worth it cause I had so much fun! Mainly because I spent Christmas and my birthday in Florida, what more could I ask for when all I need is warm and sunny weather? :)

Ever since classes started, I've been really really busy. Brief overview of my daily schedule:

Monday: 3 hours of class, 3 hours of work, 1 hour training, 2-3 hours of meeting
Tuesday: Class from 9.30am-9.30pm, with breaks from 12.30pm-1pm & 5pm-7pm ONLY
Wednesday: 2 hours of classes, 4 hours of work, ~5 hours of research, 1 hour of meeting, 1 hour of occasional training
Thursday: Class from 9.30am-5pm, 1 hour of meeting.
Friday: 1 hour of class, research for the rest of the day
Saturday: 8.30-2.30pm work, few hours of research, homework
Sunday: 9-11am training, few hours of research, 1.5 hours of meeting.
+ Weekly lab reports
+ Weekly pre labs
+ Endless Midterms/Quizzes

Days got real bad when everything happens at the same time. Like the past week, I had 1 22-page long lab report, prelab report, 3 Midterms, and 2 assignments, and I actually camped in UGL for the whole night and got super tired.

Kays, done with reporting/ranting about my tired (but meaningful) life. For I4K, we are having a much more intense workout as compared to last year. I still remember last week we did all sorts of jumping workout for like 45 minutes. @@ And we run a lot too. I haven't talked to people for donation yet, but I know I gotta start (again) soon. I'm currently at $3004.97 for my individual fundraising (ugh so close to $3500!) while for the team, we're currently at $48405.73! I'm so proud to be part of this team because everyone is working so hard-to reach fundraising goal, training, and stuffs ! I'm also involved in The Portraits Project board, hopefully we'll be able to expand this organization and make it better-known in the community!

On a side note, I have had a plan for my Spring break! I'll be going to Florida again, this time not for me to have fun, but instead to have fun with kids! I'll be volunteering at Give Kids the World and I'll be working with kids with life-threatening diseases. :/ A part of me is glad that I'll be able to volunteer to help, cause I really love kids and would definitely want them to be happy; however, I'm afraid that I'll not be able to handle my emotions when I actually see them, cause... I just can't. :( Anyways, I'll take this as a challenge and hopefully from there I'll learn to be a better person!

It's almost 3am now, and I've been up since 7.30am and never had the time to nap. :3 Also, I just went for broomball competition with MASA and actually won 2nd runner up! So proud of team C! The bruises are all worth it haha! Hopefully it will not hurt too much cause I'll need to go for training tomorrow morning TT.

Btw, Happy Valentine's Day! Hope everyone had a good one with his/her valentine!

"When you have love, spread the love, and someone will fall in love with you. When you two fall in love, both of you should spread even more love, so that the society will fall in love with you two, and eventually everyone will be spreading lots of love. The society needs more love." 

Countdown 168 Days: $10,000 achieved!

It has been two weeks since I last blogged, guess I'm really bad at keeping things updated. Hah but here I am, writing this at 1am, still kindaaaaa dedicated right? :P

P/S: not really I4K related, however I wanna share it here too, cause it's related to my volunteering experience.

It was Thanksgiving break last week. For the very first time, I decided to join a volunteering trip. YAY. I signed up for one of the ASB trips, and spent 5 days in Goshen, Indiana. We, 11 of us, worked with this company called La Casa Inc. which focuses on remodeling houses for medium or low income people. The building we worked with was actually a huge factory, and now La Casa Inc. is turning them into 35 apartments, called the Hawks building. We worked from 8.30am till 3.30pm, with one hour of lunch break in between.All we did is basic painting and taping work, which is really simple. Mark was our supervisor and he's really nice and hilarious, and annoying at times. When he got to know that I'm from Malaysia, he kept calling me "Malaysia", when in fact I told him to call me Jane. But he was like, "No, Malaysia, come here."  It was a nice experience anyways. It was nice having those people as my group members for that trip! :')

Taping: Putting the tapes around the parts that will be painted later so that the wooden part will be less likely to have ugly black paint on it..

 La Casa de Goshen, Fall 2014, at the Hawks Building after work.

 The group at Mark's office/warehouse. 

Our last dinner. Heavenly-nice Chinese food! :')

  ABC soup cooked by me! Why is it named "ABC" ? Because it's very simple to cook, as easy as ABC. :)

Now, I4K related stuffs. 

We had a team meeting last Tuesday, and I have finally gotten my quarter zip! So excited! If I'm not wrong, that was our last team meeting for this semester. I just had my (probably last) midweek training just now at CRCE. I have no idea how sore will my muscles get tomorrow, we will see... 

Quarter Zip and I = LOVE

Update about our fundraising, we have successfully collected more than $10,000 ! YAYYYYYY!!!! *throw confetti* It's so exciting to see everyone is working towards the same goal! Hopefully we'll be able to achieve $150,000 this year. We can do this! And we'll do this together! 

I got my second biggest donation (thus far) from Professor Wilfred van der Donk! I've heard that he's super generous and nice. Well, I met him and had lunch with him at Allerton Conference, and he said he remembers me :') I set up an appointment and went to talk to him yesterday. He's so patient in listening to what I say, at the same time ask a lot of questions about I4K, which shows that he really cares about it. :') More surprisingly, he had worked for 5 years in Damon Runyon Cancer Research Center, one of our biggest beneficiaries. WOW. Regardless of the connection he has with Damon Runyon, I would say he's really supportive and generous. Thanks for the big donation Professor van der Donk! I'm so grateful. :') 

With his donation came in, it puts me at $2444.97 right now. I'm kinda annoyed by the 97 ending, guess I'm a lil OCD huh? :3 

I have no idea what's wrong with the figure. Probably Narwhal was too excited to see the figure hits $10,000 and went crazy I think..

Just $1000 more to hit my required goal! I'm really excited! However, I'll try to reach $5000 as my personal goal. This is the biggest fundraising amount I have ever gotten, so why not make it even bigger right? :)

To all of you kind-hearted human out there, I'm really thankful to have met you in my life. I am thankful, and will be thankful forever. My journey (read:life) wouldn't be so interesting without you guys in my life. God bless you all beautiful souls! :') 

And because I'm thankful, I want to start something--to feature you guys on my blog. So, if you're reading this (whether you did donate or not), and wanna show us your support towards the team's effort, write this on a blank paper (picture below), with you holding it, then snap a picture and send it to me via email: xyphang93@yahoo.com! Many thanks!

Current favorite song: Blank Space (Taylor Swift)

It's a really catchy song! 

~Learn to appreciate, and you'll find beauty in everything you do and everyone you meet.